A group artwork by the meditation classes for childless not by choice. In guiding the meditation classes, specifically for childless not by choice, I have observed that the life journey which has brought people to being childless is so varied

Eyes at the table turn

when the dessert tray appears.

I dreamed about a baby last night. She was extra tiny — she could fit into the palm of my hand.

There is a hollow, black space in my heart

Endless Reproduction is a book of photographs made during the years I was unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant.

Hi there my name is Janet and this is my story. I was happily married at 23 to my best friend and we had our whole lives ahead of us.

My children are wee ghosts, Invisible to another. They are silent, Un-lived dreams.

Before the chance of motherhood was taken far away from me

I was young, I was in love, I had dreams, I was free

The struggle to conceive started on our honeymoon night. You see, we had tried to do things “God’s way.” We waited for 15 long months to have sex — until after we were married.

My name is Rianna Hijlkema, originally from The Netherlands, but currently living in Colombia.

I laid it all inside

so intricately, with grass and twigs

moss and hair, an overwhelming instinct driving on,

through unsure years

I don’t often feel sad about being childless any more, but recently I was floored by, of all things, my goddaughter’s shoes.

My sister had a baby today and I am heartbroken. I ache like someone died

Dear reader, I assume you are way younger then me. Perhaps you are in early stages in accepting your life after the infertility. This letter is for you.

My darling Regina, Please know that you were loved and desired and will always have a special place in my heart.

We were so excited to meet you.
We could picture your smiling face
We thought of how you’d look and sound
We were told you’d basically run the place

I should consider myself so lucky, I had amazing parents and had a great childhood. I am an only child and I spent a lot of time playing on my own but my doll, my baby girl Caroline came every where with me.

As I write this I can barely keep the tears at bay. My emotions swell because I am so angry.

It shows the things that hold me in this world, and keep me feeling something, anything, amidst the messy noise of grief…

Like a wave it comes.
Starts small, I feel it building.
Getting bigger. And bigger.

On the 20th of March 2013 my beautiful baby daughter’s heart stopped beating, in my tummy, on her due date and without me knowing it, this heralded the beginning of my life as a childless not by choice woman.

I started writing in the World Childless Week of 2020. First, about how I found out by my infertility at the same time that my sister announced her pregnancy.

About eight years ago, aged 25, I came to the realisation that I would never be a parent.

Being informed in 2003, that I would not be able to bear children hit me like a ton of bricks.

The half-mast flag stood proud though inconvenient.

Barely noticed through stuffed open mouths and wasted food.

It can go either way to be honest. And that tipping point, in my humble opinion, is 100% in the hands of the kid’s biological mum and dad.

I always wanted to be a mother. I have memories from childhood of mothering my dolls. When I started school I began to play "house" with my other little girl friends.