Catherine-Emmanuelle Delisle

World Childless Week Ambassador

Waking up to a stark reminder: soon another Valentine’s Day without a partner by your side, on a daily basis.

Manage to get out of bed, make yourself a cup of coffee and surf on Facebook.

Read a well-intentioned wish:

...Remember, love happens when you least expect it...

A sledgehammer blow, an obvious fact: single women over the age of 40 make people uncomfortable.

To the woman they love, friends, colleagues, sisters, they simply don’t know what to say to take away the weight of loneliness, the pain of repeated rejection, the dashed hopes of finding THE one to start a family or share your life. So they say this, rather than say nothing, with theirs hearts wrapped in good intentions:

“...You’ll find someone: you’re such an extraordinary woman!...”

“...At least you’re lucky: you can do whatever you want without being accountable to anyone...”

“...You have to love yourself first before you can find love...”

“...You have a great career! Who needs a man?...”

“...Oh, I’d so like to be single again like you!...”

“...I envy you so much, with all those little moments all to yourself!...”

“...At least you’re saving money!...”

“…Join a dating site: it’ll work!...”

And while you wait for the man or woman with whom you may experience love with a small or a capital L, there’s this moment: the present. Accessible to all, without discrimination, to beating hearts. A moment you can seize to make a difference. To create love around you with a call, a text or an e-mail. Because in the present, anything is possible: the listening that feels good, the gesture that touches, the renewed importance. Because I deeply believe that it’s thanks to these small doses of simple love, of exchanged acknowledgements, of shared kindnesses, that we heal or build ourselves up. That we find the courage to take the path of caring for the pain of being alone, rather than repressing it. That we talk to someone about what we’re missing instead of trivializing it.

For this coming Valentine’s day, I wish you to rediscover that person who is already in your life, with whom you can exist fully, in all your vulnerability.